Setting Goals for 2019
In my experience, there are only two reasons why goals fail - 1. Lack of discipline or direction in pursuing a goal (which we will cover in an upcoming post) 2. The goals hold no personal value or meaning to us.
Many of us make similar goals when the new year comes around – eat better, exercise more, lose weight, read more, pick up a hobby. While these are great goals, how many of us actually manage to succeed with these goals? How many of us feel motivated to work towards it after January? I know. I feel ya because I’ve been there myself. The reason we fail with all these goals is because while we set these goals, we don’t focus too much on WHY we want to achieve these goals, how they serve us and we don’t form specific steps in achieving them. We want to be a better version of ourselves by the end of the new year, but we don’t focus on the why and the how. We don’t see how the goal relates back to us and we don’t try to form a connection between our sense of self and that goal. And that’s why things get shaky and we drink green juice in January and eat donuts in February. Setting a goal that aligns with your personal values means you’re already setting yourself up for success with that goal. So, how do you figure out what is important to you? This is what has worked for me over the years.
I start by setting a theme. I pick one or two words that I want to align with for the rest of the year. A dear friend mentioned this approach to me in my previous workplace and I have stuck with it since because it helps me narrow down goals and resolutions to work on in the upcoming year instead of randomly picking 300 different goals and resolutions to achieve. When the goals and resolutions are all connected somehow, I feel like it’s easier to form habits such that they overlap, making it easier to see them through, and I feel more anchored with my goals and resolutions. Over the years, my themes have been “heart chakra” where I focus on what the heat chakra represents (example, incorporate more balance in my life ) to “live and laugh” where I focus on slowing down more.
The next step I do is to set 5 goals and 5 resolutions. If it so happens that the goals or resolutions have to change direction over the course of the year, I let it happen instead of being too specific or particular about it. I pay more attention to the overall aim of these rather than being rigid. If you’re wondering what the difference between the two is, for me, goals are something with an end point – for example, “I will save $833 per month to have $10 000 saved up by December 31st.” These don’t necessarily have to carry on to the next year. Resolutions are something that are more ongoing and don’t exactly have an end date or specific end point – for example, “become a regular fitspo”. These can continue to the next year but they are something I want to focus and work on in the upcoming year.
So how do I set goals and the resolutions that have meaning to me? How do I determine if a goal or a resolution has meaning to me? By having a look at the balance wheel by Mallika Chopra. She came up with it as a way of living life with more intent. The theory is simple, you rate various aspects of your life on a scale of 1 – 10, one being suffering and 10 being thriving. And then you take steps to fix them on where you want them to be. Simple. I use a slightly modified version of the wheel to suit me better when I want to set these goals and resolutions because it helps me take a holistic approach towards figuring out exactly what I want to achieve by the end of the year and what's important to me. To give you some ideas, these are the eight aspects I choose to focus on in the upcoming year:
1. Relationships (including the one I have with myself)
2. Spirituality & Purpose
3. Self-care
4. Intellectual stimulation
5. Money
6. Career & Business
7. Nutrition & Fitness
8. Creativity & Play
Now, I know 5 goals and 5 resolutions in 8 facets of your life might sound a little – okay actually quite exhausting but hear me out. There’s plenty of overlap and this is just a more comprehensive approach for me towards setting goals and resolutions. This way, goals are not vague, they are intentional, and I know exactly why I want to achieve said goal and subsequently, I feel more connected to the goal. It becomes intuitive for me to achieve it rather than just having it sitting around on my vision board. Take my “become a regular fitspo” resolution – I have completely neglected myself over the past year and for me this means becoming a bit more than where I was at last year with fitness. One of the goals I have set for the upcoming year actually parallels this resolution: Do a 60 minute yoga session every day in the morning. If I’m having a migraine or I’m especially sick, I’m fine with not doing my yoga session that day but the rest of the days, I’m going to roll out my mat and do a simple or intense session for 60 minutes. This goal covers Aspects #2, #3, #7 and #8 of The Balance Wheel for me. Yoga has been an incredible way for me to connect spiritually, it’s the best form of self-care I’ve come across because it gives me so much mental clarity – which boosts my creativity. All while I’m getting flexible and have my blood flowing since my job has me seated most of the day. And while I know it can be a pain in the ass for me on some days, I know the chances I succeed with this goal are fairly high because I have rationalised the goal on why I want to achieve it.
I also write these down (the goals, and the rationalisation part) in my journal so I can constantly see them and they serve as reminders to why I want to complete this goal. They great thing about this is that you can work with this from both ends – you can set the goal first and then try to figure out how it can hold some meaning to you in your life or you can figure out what is important to you first and then set goals from there. So, if you are looking to save $10 000 by the end of the year, which can be a great goal, figure out exactly why you want it. Is it about exercising discipline when making purchases, is it to save up for a trip, is it to have a cushion for a rainy day? Is it a combination of all of these?
Subscribe to my monthly newsletter, "Thendral's Telegraph" here!*
