Hello 2023!
Well, happy 2023!
This is the first year in a while where I don’t have much to look forward to. Not for the lack of me trying, but somehow, my 2023 remains a blank slate. 2021 was this way for me as well but while neither situation bothers me, I do find my feelings about 2023 fairly interesting - maybe it’s to do with how we’ve all pretty much called it quits on the pandemic and things are freeing up. Over here in Singapore, they have even said they will further ease the current restrictions if things remain stable! So, it should feel like opportunities are endless and the sky is the limit, yada yada yada. But that’s not really the case for me. And strangely enough, I’m okay with it. In fact, it’s somewhat... exciting. That there’s truly nothing offering itself up as a shimmer of hope or as a gripping opportunity.
It’s not Stockholm’s, I promise. If you know me, you know I’m a HUGE planner. Very meticulous and all that. Oh, there’s a dinner next Thursday? Let me have my makeup, outfit, and what I’ll be eating at the dinner sorted by this Thursday. These days, I don’t know if it’s because of the much cliched older and thus wiser thing, but while I’m still a planner (I have the aforementioned things sorted out maybe a couple of days to three days before. On the day of or day before is a just bit too much for me.), I’m also finding the merit in seeing where life takes you. And I think that’s important for this year as we all come up for air – at least for me. None of us is returning to the norm or wants to return to the norm we knew in a way that was hurting us. But we also seek familiarity and comfort. And I think that’s where this flexibility in seeing where life takes me would be useful. I think I’ve been so numb over the past couple of years that feeling… something, anything would be good this year. I don’t have expectations for this year like, “Oh PLEASE let 2023 be one of those years I look back upon as THE year!” I just want a normal year. A neutral year. A safe year. 365 days without anything triggering or so negative we feel all semblance of resilience fade away.
And maybe that is why the fact that my 2023 currently looks like a blank slate is almost exciting for me. It’s not gloomy, it doesn’t look like trudging through dark waters again. It just is. Simple. And hence, hopefully effective.
2022 was so hugely introspective for me that it taught me the value of the small and the everyday - that yes, it’s important to have something that pushes you on, pushes you forward, but life at the end of the day, is made up of the small, almost imperceptible moments. I’m hoping to carry this energy into this year as well.
Another thing I see as a “theme” for my 2023 is something that happened during my visit to India towards the end of last year. I saw some of my relatives whom I haven’t seen in 7 years; some of them were also my oldest relatives who remember my late great grandmother on my dad’s side. She was long gone before I came to be, but after seeing me for so long, my older uncles and aunts described me, to their own shock, as having morphed into the splitting image of her. And apparently not only do I look like her, some of my mannerisms and food preferences mirror hers too. Which I find so fascinating and incredible. I remember reading a quote years ago that was along the lines of “You’re only dead when those who love you die.” and that was what crossed my mind as time and again, people brought up my great grandmother synonymously with me. Maybe it’s truly genetics that I like the same dishes she did and act like she did. Or maybe it's just a simple coincidence. But there is something intriguing about how the life we live can live on long after us. I think this experience, and this quote is something I’ll be ruminating on quite a bit this year. I just can’t seem to let it go yet, and perhaps there’s something more profound to this my brain will decode at a later time. But for now, I know the place my great grandmother holds in everyone’s hearts and I’m just so humbled to not only be related but also associated with someone like that.
As for goals and all that jazz, my goals for 2023 are similar to the last couple of years in that I hope to watch 36 movies/ TV shows and read 36 books, try out even more novel recipes and cuisines than I did the last year, and get my book out. I’ve gotten more mindful of how I spend my time and money (thanks to all the forced introspections and the relentless expenses I had last year because everything kept breaking down on me) and that’s something I hope to maintain. I exercised some boundaries last year too, so I’m looking forward to saying more “no”s when I want to instead of being reticent. Quality over quantity on this space; that’s become a given. I have NO idea how I was doing 2 posts a week when I started out. And that’s pretty much all I’m foreseeing for my 2023! Happy new year again, I hope this year gives you everything you wish for.
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