Going With the Flow of Life
This time last year I had plans to move to New York by the end of this year. I had specific companies in mind where I wanted to work (and I relentlessly applied to), I had read up on all the possible paper work, and I even had a few potential places picked out where I could live. I’m that kind of person – no Plan B, only Plan A and I work my bones to make damn sure that Plan A works, that I’m prepared for when it does and that to know how to move from there.
This time last year, I didn’t even think of the possibility of becoming a writer, working from home sounded incredulous and this website didn’t even exist in my mind. And now that’s exactly what I am doing. I am sure you have had situation(s) like this. Where you have something planned out to great detail, only for you to be forced into changing plans. Or sometimes even abandoning them altogether.
You can see this as God having plans for you. Or maybe you prefer the concept of the Butterfly effect, and how your actions or that of your friends, family or the society you live in could ripple across to your plans. I like to see it as the universe having plans for me. As Plan A oriented as I am, I also let things come my way and I accept them. Or, as per another commonly used phrase to describe these things, I go with the flow of life.
Over the years, I have heard this whole “going with the flow” described in a bunch of ways. By those who are in favour of it and those who are not. And almost all of them describe it in a way that’s the teensiest bit negative at the least. But is it though? Is going with the flow that bad? Because to me, going with the flow of life doesn’t mean being passive. It doesn’t mean aimless wandering, or sitting on a couch and letting life happen to you. It’s about letting go.
Let me elaborate.
Most of us have an idea of how we want our life to be. We have plans to get the life we want and we make decisions that will help us achieve these plans. Here’s the thing. What we think is the right decision, the flawless plan or the perfect life is still our perception at the end of the day. And our perception sometimes isn't, and in fact, can’t always be an accurate interpretation of reality. Going with the flow of life means accepting the reality of life and making the necessary adjustments for your plans to work. You’re still in control, just in a different form.
Let me take you back to my own career example. I saw an ad for something that combined creative writing skills and data analysis one day. I had to come up with a writing sample, and the whole creative writing element made me feel SO alive. That’s when I thought maybe I should try out this writing thing because now or never right? So, I started up this website to showcase my writing samples and started applying for writing jobs. Meanwhile, people came up to me on their own accord with requests to write things for them. Next thing I know, I’m a freelance writer. It all fit so perfectly. And I now realise had I not given this a shot, I would still be stuck in a research role, having never pursued something that makes me feel so complete. I thought research was my path and that I just have to be in a different country. The universe showed me that was not the case. Do I still wish that things were the way I had planned for or do I still want to go back to my original plans? No. Okay, maybe not a 100%. I mean, who doesn’t want to live in a brownstone in New York??
And that brings me to how sometimes what you think you should have, is not what you need. And going with the flow of life simply means recalibrating to get what you need. And that’s why I think we should all go with the flow of life to a certain extent. It can be a little scary, I’m not going to deny that. You know how they say have a little faith or have a little trust that things will work out? With a “for the better”? The faith is the faith that you could have in yourself that whatever comes your way is something you can handle. The trust is trusting yourself that you can handle the outcome of things – be it good or bad. And yes, that’s definitely a little hard to accept. But to a certain extent, we have to. It is necessary to our mental wellbeing – the acceptance that we tried our best, or the acknowledgement that the something was simply not meant to be. The understanding that not everything is in our immediate control.
So be it God, the universe, or the consequences of your own actions, things have a reason for working or not working out. Because maybe while it seems like things are falling apart, other things are falling in place, as cliché as that phrase is. And when things are falling apart, you are in the eye of the storm. You have the most clearest vision of everything that’s going on. This is the opportunity of you to regroup and try again or try something else that will work for you.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao-Tzu
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