Getting Out Of A Rut - 7 Things That Worked For Me
You feel like you're in quicksand. You can't budge out of it, you're stuck and you're just sinking deeper and deeper. You're starting to lose interest in the things around you and motivation is suddenly alien to you. You're getting more and more miserable and you have a general air of malaise about you. You thought the sensation will pass, but hours have become days, days have become weeks and now weeks have become months. You wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, grab your keys and head out the door. You order the same porridge for the 12th day in a row because you feel like you have too many things to think about rather than breakfast. You start your work on auto-pilot mode and do enough just to strike things off your to-do list. You stop midway of the sentence you were typing and head out the door as soon as someone asks you if you want to get lunch. You continue work just drifting through the hours and more items on your to-do list and walk out the door the second it's 5:00:00. You head home have your dinner, switch on Netflix and stare at your screen without absorbing the show until it's time to get to bed. And now somewhere along the line you have lost sight of who you want to be and where you want to be. Sound familiar?
I had been in an emotional and career rut for the longest, four years to be precise, and I just want to start by saying I feel you, and I can completely understand everything you could possibly be going through right now. There is a lot of information and so many articles out there on getting out of a rut already so if you're wondering what's going to be so different about mine, well I'm writing this as I'm getting out of my rut and not only am I going to share what worked for me, I'm also going to share why some things didn't work for me, down to the specifics of where things went right or wrong. I'm hoping this will let you see for yourself what are the things you want to pursue.
#1. Meditation
I know. It didn't work for me or make sense to me initially either. Be still and quiet? How do you put a brain that's on hyperdrive on mute? So hear me out - it wasn't until I went on a yoga retreat where the instructor said that it's not about being absolutely silent and still. It's just that if a thought enters your mind, you acknowledge it but you don't give an action to it or let it grow. For example, you are meditating and you think to yourself "Wow, I'm hungry." What's the natural thing most of us do next? "Maybe I should go get a [insert food item of choice] after this". Which then grows into "Maybe I should get [insert another food item of choice] instead. Oh you know what, I should just go to Place A, it's a drive through so it will be quicker. Have to park for Place B." And this is exactly what you're not supposed to do. Instead, you just acknowledge that you're hungry and let it go. The more impossible it seems, the more you probably need it.
#2. Journaling
There is so much noise in this world around us. Everyone has something to say, everyone has an opinion, everyone wants to tell you what you should be doing right now [I'm just realising the irony of this]. Politics, fashion, food, insurance, investments, child rate. The noise is endless. This might actually drive you further into your rut, what with people talking about their passion and success and failures. It did for me. Because all this noise is driving out your own voice and sense of self. Do some journaling and give your voice the opportunity to be heard. You might actually be surprised by what comes up. Here are some of the pointers I journal on, if you need some ideas or inspiration:
· What is something you can do that shows you that you are the priority?
· What are you grateful for?
· What is an affirmation you can use for yourself right now?
· What was something great that happened today?
· What could you have changed/improved on today?
· What is your intention for tomorrow?
#3. Do what you can
Now this was something I read in so many articles about getting out of a rut. So here's how I went about doing it. I ended up doing what I could at my previous job, things I didn't like or enjoy and I didn't get a sense of fulfilment, drove myself further down the rut and put strains on my overall mental health. What did work however, was the brief creative episodes I had. It made me realise how much I enjoy creative writing, how much I missed it and how much that is exactly what I should be doing in my life. It gave me that sense of fulfilment I was craving and made me feel better about myself overall.
#4. Set SMART goals
I used to set goals for myself by having these grand visions and ideas of having a viral post and being on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Then I realised how plain stupid they were. Because not only was this vague and made me feel worse at my day to day job, Jon Stewart has also since retired.
Set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely.
Example
Goal A: I will have a viral post and meet Jon Stewart
Goal B: I will create a blog and write posts 3-4 times a week where I discuss matters that are important to me starting October 28, 2017 and I aim to achieve a traffic of 500 in 3 months.
You see the difference? So make sure you're setting goals that you can work on and that your goals are not driving you further into your rut.
#5. Maybe you really need do a break
Going on a solo trip to a yoga retreat in Bali really gave me the time to reconnect with myself and listen to my voice that I hushed out for so long. Now I'm not asking you to go on a yoga retreat as well. But do something that is different from what you do everyday and take a day or two of solitude. Give time for your inner voice and by disconnecting from everything, you will realise what you should be focusing on and what makes you feel better.
#6. Make sure you're feeding your brain with the right things
Like I said in #3, there is so much noise in this world, so make sure you're feeding your brain with things that enrich, help and empower you and not things that make you feel shittier about yourself. Do that Instagram cleanse, Facebook cleanse, contact list cleanse right now. You need it.
#7. But I invested so much time/money/effort in this
Just because you have invested in something for so long does not mean you should continue investing in it. If it hasn't returned anything to you and you don't see any potential for returns, then it's never going to come. Let it go.
And that's it! These are the things that really got me out of my rut and I hope you find something useful from it as well. Just remember that the hardest part is always the beginning. But this is you and your mental health at stake so start now before it's too late. You reading this article shows that the spark has ignited in you, that you have decided it's about time you do something about this and that you want to get out of your rut. See it through. If need be, seek professional help.
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