20 Things I'm Choosing to Focus On in 2020
For the first time in a while, I didn’t set much resolutions or goals for the new year - scratch that. I didn't set any resolutions. It just felt out of place for me for this year. Once upon a time I had "lose weight" or "exercise more" every single year as a resolution and it was pretty much a thing I never attained until I found things that work for me. Now, exercising has become more of a habit like brushing my teeth than a goal I want to set and achieve. Too many years of failed resolutions have taught me that the minute you set a resolution that you don't have a "why" for, you've already failed there. When you don't see a why you want to achieve something, it becomes something that you don't value or something that aligns with your bigger picture of life and what you want out of it. And on more than one instance, I realised that reverse engineering the process - i.e., creating a "why" for a resolution that fits my outlook - "why do I want to drop a size", "why do I want to read a book" - made it easier to trick myself into seeing the value of a goal and to work towards it. The minute you see a resolution as something you HAVE to do rather than something you WANT to do to improve yourself, it just stops sticking around past January.
The concept of goals and resolutions has gone from working towards a better version of yourself to hustling towards a future. With social media and the increase in things like daily goals and weekly goals, some of us feel turned off by the whole goal-setting thing because such an aggressive approach just doesn't feel like us. Change is always unsettling and scary for most but with the exaggerated nature of hashtags and flashy cars, I feel like the word "goals" has lost its original, intended meaning. And I don't know whether it's because of this or that because it's completely normal to go some years without any goals that I didn't set any this year. Of course I want my 2020 self to be better than my 2019 self but for some reason, for this year, setting goals just didn't seem like the way to go about achieving that. Instead, this year, I've gone with a little to-do list of things I want to see through. Somehow it came to 12 things and I thought, why not round it out and make it 20 because you know - 2020. Some things on this list are clearly easier to achieve than others; watching season 6 of Agents of SHIELD? Pfft. All I need is one night. Exercising boundaries? Yeeesh. Let me see if I can kill the people pleaser in me first. But I like the blend I have come up with, things here are all things I value and I'm fairly pleased with it. More importantly, with the concept of a to-do list, I like how I can add things as the year goes!
1. Pulling the plug and buying that bottle of shampoo and conditioner I’ve always classified as “too expensive” so that my curls can finally live their best possible happy, healthy life. Instead of running them through a blow-dryer all the time.
2. Leaving friends voice notes – a friend introduced me to the world of voice notes recently and honestly, it’s life changing. I feel like this way, my friends can get my real time, authentic response to things instead of having to rely on emojis to convey my mood (I’ve been told more than once that my voice can get … animated). It has also saved a lot of time and energy from the whole typing deal, especially since all my job requires me to do is type. It feels more personal because it’s kind of like a phone call, and it has improved my discipline in getting back to people.
3. Including more ice cream in my diet. I don’t know why but I only had ice cream a grand total of ONCE last year. ONCE. First of all, how did that even happen? Second of all, this feels like something I could get fined for – “under” treating myself.
4. Writing here 5 times a month – Taking a break from writing helped a lot with my mental health last year but now, it feels a little hard to breathe when I don’t write.
5. Physically writing as much as possible instead of typing things out on a computer because thoughts just flow better when pen hits paper. I don’t know how but it’s true.
6. Finishing 45 movies and 20 (ideally, 24) books.
7. Finding a solid recipe for DIY Thai Red Curry paste.
8. Finishing season 6 of Agents of SHIELD and How to Get Away with Murder.
9. Saving $(a specific amount) by the end of the year.
10. Understanding and accepting that it’s okay if I buy a pen or brush pen here and there. I’m pretty responsible with money and BUJO has had a great effect on my mental health so a couple of dollars spent ever so often is pretty much the equivalent to therapy right now. Sure, I have more stationery than necessary but can you really put a price on some balance in your mental health? Can you?
11. Minimising derogatory words and negative language towards myself and self-deprecating behaviour. That had to stop yesterday.
12. Adopting the Pomodoro technique or some bastardised version of it instead of feeding my distractions or letting myself stay in an “uninspired” mode. Regular breaks between intense periods of work just work better. I knew this but I’m just having difficulties following through.
13. Know how to make a dish by the back of my hand instead of reaching over for the recipe all the time just because I get so insecure about measurements and timings.
14. Have a reusable cloth bag at hand every time I head out.
15. Have a back-up plan for working out so that on days where I have to inevitably skip it, I’m still making healthy choices.
16. Maintain all existing (and build new, if necessary) boundaries.
17. Scale back on toxic and counterproductive comparisons.
18. Maintain growth and “this was a lesson” mindset.
19. Appreciate the time it takes for change to happen instead of hoping things would move faster.
20. Keep getting up and keep trying!
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