Networking: What Has Worked For Me Over The Years
After my Insta Live interview with Tia Bhuva for my tenacious woman segment, I got LOADS of heart-warming emails and DMs saying how much they enjoyed it, how much they learned, and wishing me the best. I think it took me 2 days to chip away at them. And in those emails and DMs, I noticed one common recurring question – “HOW did you manage to get TIA?!” I chuckled every time I saw that question because I truly have no idea either. I feel like I sent her an email, and she replied. And now my life has changed forever. But many of you asked for tips and so I thought, “Why not share what I have learned over the years in trying to network with someone?” In hopes that it can help someone else out there. Now, to be honest, I do believe there’s an element of luck and/or timing to these things. So, these tips don’t mean they would be a sure-fire way to work for you. But these are things I learned through trial and error over the years and I hope they give you some ideas!
Go after the right person
When we think of networking, I feel like we do one of the following three things – 1. We try to network with someone accomplished in the field we are pursuing. 2. We try to network with someone who is just accomplished in general. 3. We try to network with someone our peers are networking with and we feel pressured to do so. These are completely intuitive and fine. But for me, networking isn’t just about adding someone on LinkedIn and moving on. I want an organic connection that lasts and becomes a relationship. And I find that I’ve had more “success” in doing so when I focus on pursuing someone with a similar set of values or has qualities I want to emulate or inculcate. One of the things I’m always trying to cultivate in myself is to present myself with intention. So as a writer, I wouldn’t just limit myself to writers who present themselves with intention. I would go after an entrepreneur or a calligraphy artist or a stationery designer. Anyone, who I feel presents themselves with a sense of honesty and intention that I want to project as well. I feel like doing increases the number of people I can network with and thus, the number of people I do connect with eventually. What is important to remember is that networking is just about getting the foot in the door, we want to build a relationship. And I feel like pursuing someone with a similar set of values or outlook helps to bind that connection and grow it to into a relationship in the long run. Additionally, I find that networking with people who are not in my field gives me a fresher perspective towards what I’m doing, helps me identify gaps in the field I’m doing things, and even gives me ideas that people who do what I’m doing have not thought about!
Tone
This is easily the make or break deal when it comes to networking. Over the years, I’ve found that sounding polite, humble, and like you have a curiosity to learn is the best way to go. And when I say tone, I don’t just mean “on point vocabulary”. Often times, when we are trying to network with someone – through an email or any other form of a message when we have never interacted with them before, the content that you talk about sets the tone for you. So no matter how humble you believe your email sounds, the content can be a bit of a quicksand. And I’ve found that one very glaring example of wrong content would be focusing on the accomplishments or the statistics such as the follower count of the person we are trying to network. Many of us would want to use these as ways to compliment them (read: stroke their ego a little), seem knowledgeable about them, or just in hopes that quoting such things can get us in their good books. But, I’ve found that if this is not done correctly, it’s very easy to dehumanise them in that process; it can make them feel more like an object with awards and accolades that you’re after rather than a person you want to learn from. So I steer clear of these things. Like I wouldn’t go up to Tia and say "I love that you're so positive and that must be how you gained these 440K followers!" Because she probably already knows that. Instead, I try to talk about what they mean to me. Not to their community. I try to tell them about the specific impacts they've had on me or distinct incidents that I can recall with them. This becomes a more genuine way to catch their attention because the more distinct of an impact you mention, the more likely you are to stand out among the plethora of emails and messages they receive. It also makes you seem more sincere and like you are invested in them rather than like you’re just out to get something from them.
Side note that I've learned from experience, while it's okay to be very admiring of them, don't overdo it to the extent of describing them as the sun your world revolves around. You don't want to seem like a crazy, obsessed fan so do maintain some professionalism!
Research
I cannot stress this enough. Unless this is someone who is just starting out, do not ask them for their bio/ CV/ resume/ etc. If someone has enough following on the Internet, they have enough about them out there that you can learn through Google. Even if you’re trying to network with someone you have been following for a while, spend some time to research them before you send that networking request email or message. Because looking at someone as a fan is very different from looking at someone as someone you want to learn from and connect. This research is what will help you form the content, and thus, the tone I mentioned before when you’re trying to connect with them. This is where you will get those specific incidents and impacts they have had on you. And this is how you appear knowledgeable rather than simply using numbers that you can get from giving a quick glance at their Instagram profile.
Practice, practice, practice!
At the end of the day, networking is one of those things that requires practice, so keep at it even if your first attempt doesn’t go well! It’s okay to have a loose template of the things you want to tell someone or the things you want to share about yourself in an email but don’t copy paste and send the same thing to everyone you’re trying to network with. Especially if they know each other. That just doesn’t reflect well on you. You will also find that as you evolve over the years, you would want to present certain things or say certain things differently. Maybe some things can be made more concise, maybe you want to send funnier email subject lines. Pay attention to that and make those adjustments! And do not be afraid to shoot your shot no matter how big someone appears to you! There are people out there who genuinely want to help and support others regardless of who you are, your follower count, or where you are in your career journey. And as long as your intentions are right, your efforts WILL get noticed. If you’re too nervous, tell yourself that it’s just a practice run and send that email!
Now, I'm not going to lie, like I said before, I do believe there's an element of luck/ universe or God at play in these things so you never know what would work! If it's meant to be, things will work out. And similarly, you never know what won’t work either. There are so many connections that I didn’t succeed in so do be prepared for a rejection or worse yet (in my world), no reply at all. And that's fine too. Maybe you might meet them again when you've developed yourself further in your career because the timing is not right now. Maybe they're just not the person you're meant to cross paths with. And sometimes, you just can't get everyone to like you. Everything happens for a reason, so take any rejections professionally (and not personally), tell yourself it’s a practice run, and try again with someone else!
Before I close off, I would like to share a brief template I follow when I reach out to my tenacious women. I say brief because I’m a bit wordy and my emails are usually a thousand words long. Each of the following sentences represents the summary of a paragraph:
An introduction of myself
Why I’m writing this email (i.e., the segue to my website and my tenacious women segment)
2 to 3 sample questions
Why I think they would be a great fit for this
How we would proceed from here if they agree to this and my “thank you”s
And that’s all I have! If you feel like I missed out on something, please feel free to leave a comment below. And like I said before, remember that networking is just about getting your foot in the door. You can do all of the things I said well but it doesn't matter if you don't give them a reason to continue engaging with you. So, please do keep that in mind, and good luck!
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