Masks Will Be Optional
From August 29, masks will be optional in Singapore – still mandatory in public transport and healthcare settings – but optional otherwise.
I don’t know about you but after living in a pandemic for over two years now, I’m kind of scared to come out of it; to venture into a beyond that feels… fairly uncertain for reasons I can’t accurately describe.
I look at photos of me in Italy and I go “OH MY GOD, WHERE’S MY MASK???” only to realise that was in December 2019. They weren’t commonplace then; masks were something I wore when I went to the A&E of the hospital I worked in. Yet, December 2019 as a time period doesn’t feel… far; it feels… recent. Meanwhile, we had devices and apps here in Singapore that tracked our location to trace Covid-19 positive cases. They were implemented in April 2020, and we just did away with them this past April. Like April 2022. Yet, the experience of using those devices feels like it was years ago.
Over these past couple of years, I’ve only forgotten my mask once. Even then, it was literally a few steps out of my home before I went “Waittt a minuteee... why does everything feel so windy? OHMYGODIFORGOTMYMASK!!!” Cue a dash back home to put it on. Wearing masks has been such an ingrained behaviour that I feel like I might just accidentally wander out with a mask even after the pandemic becomes endemic. I feel masks and hand sanitisers (which is like second skin now) are the two, distinct “pandemic behaviours” I would perhaps carry over absentmindedly.
Apart from these trains of thought, I really don’t know how to feel about masks being optional. Oh of course, other than, “Is this a cue to start wearing makeup again?” that is. I rather enjoy a red lipstick, and I can’t wait for the end of the pimples-because-of-my-mask era. And then I wonder if that’s all there is to ALL this – a certain shallowness and self-centredness to it all. That I can wear makeup and maybe breathe well without a mask. I actually had Covid-19 and took nearly four weeks to make full recovery. Six weeks before I got all of my sense of smell back. And is that all I can think about going mask-free? Makeup? The contrast in perspective for me lies in healthcare workers in Singapore getting medals later this year. I believe that’s about all they get to enjoy for their relentless service over the past couple of years. And I’m grateful for their service because… we can now go almost mask-free and I can wear makeup. It feels so stupid and arbitrary when I put it that way.
Then there’s also that tiny fear of subjecting my actual immune system to everything that’s out there without masks. I know, I know, masks are optional means I can still choose to wear them but, you know.
I also don’t know if it’s the pandemic or turning 30, but I feel jaded and indifferent to a lot of things these days. Specifically, mass media, ads, and influencers.
If you want to know why it’s those specific three:
The general fear and anxiety in people’s minds about Covid-19 became some sort of trigger for mass media to push diseases and conflicts that otherwise would have probably gone unnoticed by us. And I really mean no ill will when I say this, but it’s getting hard to care. They have pushed fear upon fear upon fear upon us and now most of us are in survival mode. Am I okay? I’m okay. Are my loved ones okay? They’re all okay too. Well then fuck everything else. That’s really my mindset. I’m tired, I feel restricted, I feel tied down and I don’t know if I can just snap out of it even post-pandemic.
Ads – good god. I know these are difficult times for any form of business but the number of ads we get shoved into our face: paracetamol brands, food delivery apps, the government’s efforts to support us during the rising costs of living. I mean, could this not have been a press release? Why is it an ad I see every time I open YouTube? Every time at that, not just every day. We used to live in a world where ads used to be the entertainment; now ads are the entertainment. And the scare tactics they employ - like in the ads that sell anything to do with aging! I can’t help but wonder, “What a load of crock!” at times.
Ads naturally ties in with influencers. YouTube, Instagram, you name it, it’s all watching someone’s Vlog, Reel, Day with me (which is often a paid partnership) only for it to pause to play an ad by another brand. And the paid partnerships influencers do: shaving razors, groceries, flowers, cars, renovations – I’m not bashing them all, I’m simply unimpressed by the fact that many influencers get to have a curated life with no efforts to create, well, a thoughtful ad for that matter. I miss the days when a girl would sit down in her bedroom in front of a grainy camera and talk about the MAC lip gloss she saved up and finally bought after work today. Now you can buy the camera she’s using because she’s helpfully added a link. Oh, and she gets 5 to 10% because it’s a great way to support the channel.
I don’t know if it is a matter of personal sensitivity or if this is what actually happened, but I feel the position news, ads and influencers have in society sort of grew beyond acceptable proportions during the pandemic. Which creates this constant mindset of lack mentality, inadequacy and fear. And maybe that’s why I’m a bit hesitant about this new world – I don’t know what it’s going to look like after this pandemic. And I don’t know how I would react to these things in public – you know what I mean? There are those diplomatic opinions you can articulate in public. And then there are those opinions you must keep carefully archived for the company of a trusted few or perhaps your diary. I feel like I’m full of the latter and scraping the bottom of the barrel for the former. And I feel like the days where I care about the reactions of others to my opinions are getting numbered.
This transformation was definitely spearheaded by the pandemic. With the extent I had to rely on myself this year, and the down periods I had when I had COVID-19, I don't know how to better explain this: I feel like I've integrated myself. I used to classify some things as the "good" side of me and some things as the "bad" side. And now… it’s like I’m learning to use them all to my advantage? I feel like I've merged these dark and bright sides of me to become a holistic being – who knows how to use my “dark” side to assert myself logically, and rationally and my “bright” side to balance things out when I’m being challenged and only my “dark” side (i.e., my bad temper) takes over.
I’m learning to be inspired by the women I have read about in Tamil epics and mythologies. From Kannagi to female goddesses, the response by many women who were wronged or challenged was not to sit in defeat or depressed; it was to burn a city or the universe down in retaliation. Obviously, I’m not a pyromaniac looking to burn things down. I’m just looking at the general concept: to make a point, to make the extent of your strength clear rather than to let what happened to you or what was said to you define you as your weakness. To not feel like I’m asking for too much, or overreacting, or taking too much space. And I’m kinddd of nervous and excited to put this transformed version of myself out in the world. When I subject myself to the chaos of the world, will this version of me still remain? Or will I be muted and put in my place? Because I kind of like this version of myself and I don’t want her to disappear. And something about removing medical masks feels like it’s time for me to remove my metaphorical masks too: my mask of false bravado, my mask of borrowed confidence, and my mask of falsified self-security. Masks I’ve used for all these years now. They’ve served me really well actually! They have protected me from feeling inadequate, out of place and even panic attacks. And I don’t feel quite ready to let them go just yet to let this new “integrated self” brave it all.
But then again, as more and more countries are opening up and easing up on their measures, as I hear stories along the lines of “Finally meeting someone I’ve not met in three years!”, as I watch some set plans in motion they had temporarily stalled, and others start to gain the comfort and courage to plan for a future, I feel everything just might be fine. This too will pass. We are all trying to bounce back from the monstrosity that was these past couple of years that most of us would describe as “really bad” for individual reasons. People will laugh again and love again and this will be a distant memory for us. And that makes me hopeful and less concerned about the small stuff that’s off-putting just for now.
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