I'm Not Really Setting Any Goals for 2021
So, the new year just sort of slipped in really quietly, didn’t it? Did you notice it? I barely did! Many people I know are not really setting as many goals for this year – maybe they have some habit they want to enforce here and there or they will be working on ongoing goals that don’t have a timeframe attached (like savings). But I’m not seeing much of the “2021 will be MY year” or "This is the year I get my sh*t together!" kind of energy. And I think it’s not the biggest surprise. We don’t even know where the year is headed, and current events only continue to dispirit us as much as we try to hang on to the belief that better days are coming. So I'm not really setting any goals either. But I do like to have some things to work towards not just for the feeling of accomplishment, but also because I find it necessary to evolve as a person in some form. And it’s nice to see it, or rather, track it over the years. So, when I thought about what I wanted to do for this year, the first thing that came to my mind was phones. And that just snowballed a few other things, which is why this is not going to be one of those 5 pointer lists but rather, just one continuous piece. They just mould and flow into each other somehow and I feel like they’re not really goals I'm setting for 2021 but more of a state of mind I'll be working towards. You’ll see.
So like I was saying about phones! I’m having a SERIOUS case of phone fatigue. When I started working part-time again, I was planning how I was going to schedule content for Mondays to Wednesdays for Instagram. Because these things require time and thought which I didn’t want to talk away from my job. My first instinct was to hash it out during the commute to and back from work which is an hour to hour and fifteen minutes long each way. A total of two to two and a half hours felt like more than enough time for Instagram. But when it came down to it, I just felt exhausted – the computer at work, the laptop once I’m at home, my home computer again from Thursdays to Saturdays, and my phone for Instagram all felt too much. My eyes insisted on staying closed even if there were things that had to be done. So, I pushed content planning to the weekend and pulled a no phones during commute rule for myself. Unless it’s to change a playlist or to answer a text message from my mum (I have a separate tone for her texts), I do not get my phone out for my entire commute. It stays in my bag. And honestly, it has been a game-changer! Not only do I get to people-watch during my commute now, which I like and gives me a lot of ideas for a lot of different things, it also lets my thoughts wash over me which in turn makes my brain feel like it can breathe. It’s been calming and a great way to switch off from work before I get home. It's been 3 months, I've not broken this rule and I really don't see myself doing so anytime soon either.
I've never had a habit feel this intuitive or easy for me to work on before so I did a little digging. To see how I can apply it on the other goals I set for myself. And I think the reason this is going so well is that I relate to it and I’m feeling the effects (a more balanced brain and reasonably-rested eyes) almost instantly. It’s something that’s an internal need rather than something I feel like I HAVE to be doing and check off a tracker. But more importantly, it’s nothing major or life-altering! It’s a really small, simple goal/ habit. Nothing overwhelming like no phones before bed (well how else am I going to get my anxious thoughts to shut up?!) or no phones over the weekend (for 2 whole days? Are you crazy??) or don't reach for your phone first thing in the morning (It's my alarm! It's already in my hand! I'll just check this ONE notification, I promise!). It’s very manageable and not much effort at all! Like they say for most goals, it’s about the idea of small steps rather than no steps at all or wearing yourself out by just thinking about the big steps. Change your bedsheet, change the world, right? And this is the energy I want to carry into 2021. 2020 put all our lives on pause and one of the biggest things I learned from it is the importance of taking things one at a time rather than HARPING on what could be. It’s nice to fantasise or it’s easy to compare and feel inferior about where I should be in life. But when I look back at 5 years ago, or 3 years ago, or even last year, I’ve already come a lot further than where I expected to be at those times. While I worry that focusing on this too much will make me complacent, I don't see why I should rob myself of these little steps and successes I've achieved and FIXATE on the steps I have yet to take.
Which really nailed the need of learning to enjoy the journey rather than getting worked up about the destination for me. I love to write; I like the process of it, I love how it challenges me in a way I can’t explain and I love how satisfied I feel when I’m done with a piece. It's easily one of the things I enjoy doing the most and I have fun with it! Then why I choose to let numbers get the better of me or question my skills or even insult my writing on the not-so-great days is BEYOND me. I like what I do, I have the privilege of pursuing it and my heart feels so full when I offhandedly think “Oh my god I have a blog!” Isn’t THIS the point in life? That when I look back, I’m happy I got to do what I love? Not about how many readers I had or SEO rankings and things like that? I love to write so I'm going to focus on that! And when I thought about how I could detach myself a little more from this comparison game or getting worked up about numbers, the most glaringly obvious method for me was to cut down the time spent on my phone and social media. Which circles back to me and my no phones during commute rule. I started this for my Mondays to Wednesdays 9 to 6 but now it has become the default rule for any time I get on a train or a bus. I pull up a playlist and I chuck my phone into the bag, only to reach for it to tell a friend I'm here or to pull it out at work for work. Don’t get me wrong, social media is GREAT. Phones are INCREDIBLE. But what was not great or incredible was the way I was using it. I really, REALLY needed to enforce some boundaries and reduce mindless scrolling to focus on me! To just let me be me! It's so easy to say it's necessary to cut down social media to reduce the comparison game and thus for better mental health but I realised a lot of time on social media also makes me act more like the people I see, to think more about them and how they are doing rather than myself.
And that's pretty much it! When I looked back at this list, I felt like if I can be in more of this mindset towards the end of the year – being more in the now and focusing on small, manageable steps rather than expecting to be a pro at everything, I think I’ll be truly happy and okay with myself. And of course, if everyone I know and love is safe, healthy and happy at the end of this year. But that is not so much of a goal as it is a wish and a prayer! So! Let’s go 2021, I’ve been through 2020 so hopefully, I can be fine with you too!
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